“High Flying Birds”

Poised near the edge of the Grand Canyon, Thelma and Louise take a moment to ponder their recent adventure.

Thelma: Let’s not get caught.

Louise:  What’re you talking about?

Thelma:  Let’s keep going.

Louise:  What do you mean?

Thelma turns her head toward the far distance.

Thelma:  Go.

Louise:  You sure?

Thelma:  Yeah. Hit it.

Louise slams down on the gas, the two women clasp hands, and off the side of the Grand Canyon they fly. It’s a beautiful, yet terribly sad, moment. They are free.

However, the Grand Canyon averages a drop of 4000 ft. At its highest it’s 6000 ft. Louise put the pedal to the medal somewhere around 2200 ft. It’s gonna take a few seconds before they hit the ground and are instantly reduced to putty.

Louise: Wow. It is really high up.

Thelma: Right? 

Louise: Yeah. It didn’t seem like it from back there.

Thelma: No, it did not.

Thelma pulls her hand from Louise’s.

Louise: Why’d you let go of my hand?

Thelma: No reason.

Thelma turns around and begins searching the backseats.

Thelma: Didn’t Wade ride a motorcycle?

Louise: He sold it.

Thelma: Dang. Thought he might have left an extra helmet or neck brace or some protective head/neck/spine combo in the back.

Louise: Bit late for that, ain’t it?

Thelma: It’s never too late to make safe choices.

Louise: Now. Now is too late.

Thelma looks a bit bummed out.

Louise: I thought you wanted this as much as me!

Thelma: I was kind of swept up in the moment. I guess I got sucked in.

Louise: What does it matter? Too late now.

Thelma: When we hit the ground and the car likely explodes –

Louise: It might not explode. It might just crumple.

Thelma: No cool fireball or explosion?

Louise: We’re pretty low on gas. Almost out actually. So it’ll be a crumple and a small fire. More like a small roast than a bonfire.

Thelma: Will the crumple be loud?

Louise: SO loud.

Thelma: Okay, then. That’s something.

Louise: Heck yeah it is.

Things go quiet. Louise turns on the radio. There’s only static.

Thelma: Definitely didn’t get the most out of life that I could’ve. Sold myself short. Never left the country. Hell, didn’t even leave Texas until last year.

Louise: Where’d you go if you could?

Thelma: It’s…you’re gonna laugh.

Louise: Promise I won’t.

Thelma pulls her legs up and buries her face between her knees. She’s feeling super shy.

Thelma: Latvia.

Louise: Latvia?

Thelma glances up at her friend. Tears sting her eyes. An enormous weight has been lifted.

Thelma: It’s in Europe. One of the Baltic states; bordered by Estonia to the north, Lithuania to the south, Russia to the east, Belarus to the southeast, and shares a maritime border with Sweden to the west. Covers an area of 24,938 square miles – give or take. Population of 1.9 million. The country has a temperate seasonal climate. Its capital is Riga. Latvians belong to the ethno-linguistic group of the Balts and speak Latvian, one of the only two surviving Baltic languages. Russians are the most prominent minority in the country, at almost a quarter of the population.

After centuries of Teutonic, Swedish, Polish-Lithuanian and Russian rule, which was mainly run by the local Baltic German aristocracy, the independent Republic of Latvia was born on November 18th, 1918 when it broke away from the German Empire and declared independence in the aftermath of World War I. However, by the 1930s the country became increasingly autocratic after the coup in 1934 establishing an authoritarian regime. The country's de facto independence was interrupted at the outset of World War II, beginning with Latvia's forcible incorporation into the Soviet Union, followed by the invasion and occupation by Nazi Germany in 1941, and the re-occupation by the Soviets in 1944 to form the Latvian SSR for the next 45 years. As a result of extensive immigration during the Soviet occupation, ethnic Russians became the most prominent minority in the country, now constituting nearly a quarter of the population. The peaceful Chanting Revolution started in 1987–

Louise: Singing.

Thelma: Huh?

Louise: It was the “Singing Revolution.” You said chanting.

Thelma: Hold the phone. You had a Latvia boner, too?

Louise: Big ole one.

Thelma: How did this never come up?

Louise: Time never seemed right. I dropped a lot of hints.

Thelma: You most definitely did not.

Louise: I know I did. I’m sure of it.

Thelma: Louise, I’ve been obsessed with Latvia since I can’t remember when. I hated myself for feeling like I did. I cried and cried.

Louise: Brag much?

Thelma: Point is, if you – my best friend – had ever mentioned Latvia I would have jumped at the chance to talk to you about it.

They retreat to their corners.

Louise: Don’t sulk.

Thelma: I’m not.

Louise: Well, then you’re doing a great impression of a sulking person.

Thelma: I’m fine. I’m just annoyed.

Louise: At me?

Thelma: “At me?” Give me a break.

Thelma closes her eyes and rubs her temples. She is frustrated as fuck.

Thelma: Definitely no explosion?

Louise: ‘fraid not. Sorry.

Thelma: As they say in Riga, “Stadot ledu, negaidiet, ka bes razas!”

Louise: Whatever.